FEARLESS: The Diary of an 18-Year-Old at War in the Falklands. By Kevin J Porter
Reviewed by Desmond Woods
The Falklands War of 1982 is very well documented in contemporary video footage, documentary programs and many excellent books; I have a shelf of books on the subject. Some deal with the political context for the war and the failure to avert it by diplomacy due to the inability of the Argentinian junta to retreat from their political and military misjudgement. Most books deal with the movements of the Task Force, the retaking of South Georgia, the sinking of Belgrano and the destroyers, Sheffield and Coventry, and the Atlantic Conveyor.
They cover the days at San Carlos, ‘bomb alley’, the avoidable tragedy at Bluff Cove that befell the Royal Fleet Auxiliaries Sir Galahad and Sir Tristram, and the march to Port Stanley via the battles at Goose Green, Mt Tumbledown, Mt Longdon and Wireless Ridge.
Those operational events are all mentioned in this book because they recorded, as they occurred, into the daily diary of the author, an 18-year-old Tactical Radio Operator Kevin Porter who was serving in HMS Fearless throughout the campaign.
He published his diary in 2017 with his thoughtful commentary on each entry as he looked back on the 100 days of the South Atlantic campaign forty years on. It makes for absorbing reading. The mature Kevin, now a hypnotherapist and life coach reflects, on the jottings of a shy, immature and often very frightened young sailor and provides context and explanation.
Fearless was one of two RN amphibious assault ships designed to put Royal Marines in harm’s way and protect them while they went onto a hostile shore. In San Carlos Water in 1982, under the command of Captain, (later Rear Admiral) Jeremy Larken DSO, Fearless’ job was to both be the Command ship for the amphibious operation, and to use her landing craft to get Royal Marine Commandos and their equipment ashore to where they could start their long ‘yomp’ to liberate the Falkland Islanders.
The author’s action station was on the bridge wing of the ship and therefore he was exposed, in every sense of the word, to the traumatic events unfolding around him as the Royal Navy’s surface fleet and the Sea Harriers of the Fleet Air Arm, fought the Argentinian Air Force and covered the landing force ashore. He witnessed the destruction of the frigates Antelope and was traumatised when Fearless took casualties on board at his action station and later fatalities when one of the ship’s landing craft, and its crew, were destroyed by enemy attack.
These events were seared into the young sailor’s psyche and defined his life and his marriage for three decades after the triumphant return to Portsmouth of the Task Force and his overwhelming welcome back to his small town.
What he describes is undiagnosed PTSD and ‘survivor guilt’, a debilitating psychological combination, which requires professional assistance to overcome. For 20 years he did not seek, and was not offered, the routine psychological assessments which are now mandatory on return from combat.
He writes with great affection and insight about Fearless saying of his old ship. From that intense experience she brought me safely (physically but not mentally) back home.
His former Commanding Officer Jeremy Larken writes in the foreword to the book: ‘Kevin reports that he was often very frightened. Like nearly all of us, he managed this admirably at the time. His descriptions of experiencing and controlling fear are as candid as they are illuminating’
That sentence underlines the enduring value of this book. It should be read by those currently serving sailors in our navies, who may yet go in harm’s way and those who command them. In its pages lie lessons about combat fatigue and trauma learned the hard way by young Kevin. His inability as a shy young sailor to disclose how badly affected he had been by what he had seen and done took his life off track for many years after leaving the Navy. He admits that on his return to UK he often became ‘over-refreshed’ and let himself and others down when intoxicated.
It is greatly to his credit that he rejected alcoholic self-destruction, married and had children, qualified as a therapist and an author and has used his extreme experiences in action to mentor and guide others to overcome their demons and to live their best lives.
I highly recommend this book to readers who wish to learn at first hand of the tragedy and the triumph of Operation Corporate and the price paid by those who fought and survived the battle of San Carlos Water. It is a reminder that the liberation of the Falkland Islands, and the restoration of them to their rightful owners, was painful and came at great cost for all involved, including the families of those who came home from the sea when the shooting had stopped.
